On Us and Them

Heres the thing, everybody, man woman and child, are completly analog and unique identities. To relate to someone effectively, powerfully, you have to bend your mind to comprehend and understand what someone else is really saying. Im not talking about understanding the definitions of the words that are coming out of thier flapping yap. Im talking about the connotations. Lets face it, 'Have a nice day!' can mean anything from, 'It was nice meeting you' to 'Fuck off and die fucking fucktard' Depending where you were raised, what your parents talked like, what cliques youre in, words and phrases are going to have entirely different meanings from person to person. Think about something red. Got it? Now was that blood-red, Fire-engine red, barn red, slutty high-school girl lipstick red, the list goes on. What most people never catch on to, is that no matter how detailed, people will ever only understand about 80% of what another person is saying. The rest is just stuff they make up themselves to putty in the gaps.

In groups of close friends you can see where theyre used to the way each other express themselves. A simple 'd00d!' Can mean 'Hi!' or 'What the hell did you call my girlfriend for at three in the morning when you were drunk last night, and dont pretend you dont know what Im talking about.' Its because these people are already synched up in terms of context, verbal cues, and thought patterns that the exchange of info becomes uber-efficient. Being synced or not synced is how our brains determine 'Us' from 'Them'. If youre looking to become one of 'Them', you'll need to sync up.

Know why hot chix sleep with a-holes who really even arent that good looking? Cause theyre following the little trail of verbal breadcrumbs that tells them exactly what to do. Fear is the fucking kingsnake of all social behaivior. They are, like all humans, conditioned to want to acheive the state of being 'normal'. Yes, even messed up goth chix are questing to be normal messed up goth chix. But the raw deal is, everyone is unique. Normal doesnt actually exist, its just something the people around you agree on. So most people spend thier lives being controlled by the fear that they are not normal, and try to adapt to those around them because it makes them feel comfortable. This is the achilles heel of every single person you will ever meet. Ever. When the cues to adapt are defined and clear, those people who find themselves usually confused enjoy the understanding of what they are supposed to do so much, they will do almost anything it requires of them, yes even sleeping with badly-dressed poorly mannered retards.

Again, when talking about sync, normal is defined by the people that person thinks of as 'Us'. By conciously entering sync with them, you become part of the 'Us' and now, because youre the evil monkey who knows all this is going on, can control the ideas of normal, and do what youd like. Be warned: this technique is only good in 1-on-1 conversations. A group will have its own idea of normal, and the person will not be nearly as influenced by your will. (Which by the way is why the first thing domestic violaters do is cut off their sig other from seeing thier friends, so they can be the ones to mantain what is considered normal.)

Remember, the two keys of becoming an 'Us' are imitation (which is why humans have a natural need to conform) and predictable progression. (omigosh, I just knew you were going to say that!) Be gentle or you'll break the spell, but dont be meek and mild either. Always remember, since you have the kingsnake well in hand, there be no need for nervousness or embarrassment as you are the one defining what is normal. Go for the gold.